dry rose flower next to broken heart shaped cookie

Karmic Relationships

If you’ve had unsuccessful relationships, know that it’s common to have several relationships in your lifetime. Not everyone immediately meets their soulmate & lives happily ever after with them. While all relationships have their ups & downs, karmic relationships are typically doomed from the start to teach you necessary lessons to become a better person. Different from the well-known, loving relationship of two soulmates, a karmic relationship is often dramatic, tumultuous, & temporary.

Karmic Relationships

I believe that every relationship I’ve entered into so far has been a karmic relationship. I now take ownership of my past karmic behaviors, as I’ve definitely been a karmic partner to others in the past. But the key indicator of a truly loving relationship is genuine care, honesty, kindness, & unconditional love. Here are some examples & key indicators that you’re in a karmic relationship, or you are actually the karmic.

Abuse

Any form of abuse can be present in a karmic relationship, including emotional, financial, physical, psychological, sexual, etc. I am very self-aware. Through reflecting on my past relationships, I can admit that I was physically abusive to one of my exes.

On a road trip, my boyfriend wanted to drive Highway 1 from SoCal back to my home in the San Francisco Bay Area. Being young & impatient, I hated that this transformed a normally 5 hour car ride into a 12+ hour road trip, because he needed to stop several times to take pictures. I was moody & rude to him the entire drive up, because let’s face it, I was selfish.

I hated that he wanted to do what he wanted despite how I felt. At 18 years old, I expected him to bend over backward to make sure I was happy. I basically chose to throw a tantrum like a child in his car. As a way to cheer me up & lighten the mood, he decided to swerve the car back & forth along the road. He laughed as he watched me sway with the car, thinking it was funny & that it would make me smile.

Instead, it made me even more angry. I yelled at him for driving recklessly because another car could come rapidly around one of the turns, cause him to swerve off the road completely & off a cliff, killing us both. I called him annoying & immature, & I started to physically hit him on his arms, back, & shoulders to stop him from swerving in fear for my life & my safety. At the time, I felt justified for being physically abusive towards him, but considering how I behaved that entire day, I can see now that we were both karmic to each other in our karmic relationship.

Cheating

Cheating, emotional or physical cheating on any level, is another indicator of a karmic relationship & karmic behavior. Within the same college relationship, we both cheated on each other. Since he lived in SoCal & I lived in the Bay Area, we were only physically together for about 8 months during the year for school.

The Summer before we broke up, he started cheating on me with his co-worker at the gym he worked at. And the semester before that, I emotionally cheated on him with my TA. By breaking his trust, he no longer trusted me to have any male friends. And while I thought it was ridiculous at the time, I don’t blame him for that anymore. Discovering that he had been cheating on me all Summer with his co-worker a month after we broke up is what hurt the most.

As someone who has emotionally cheated & found out about other options my past boyfriends hid from me, know that entertaining other options & emotionally cheating is just as bad as physically cheating on your partner. If you already have a replacement or possible replacements lined up, you never truly loved your partner or respected your relationship with them.

By learning from emotionally cheating on my boyfriend, I don’t tolerate cheating of any kind. When I’m in a committed relationship, I ignore anyone who slides into my DMs or offers to buy me a drink at a club. Because in order to find a committed partner, I know that I need to fully commit to my partner too.

If my ex boyfriend suddenly has a new girlfriend days or weeks following our breakup, I can now recognize & accept that I was in a karmic relationship. Just as I am faithful & loyal to my current partner, I need & want my partner to choose me & only me.

Insulting & Unsupportive

Karmic relationships are often conditional. If your partner only wants to date you if you act, behave, or look a certain way, you’re probably in a karmic relationship. If your partner endlessly tries to change you, puts you down, or is unsupportive of your hopes & dreams, they’re probably a karmic partner.

As outlined in my Palm Springs blog post, I’ve had a lot of issues with past karmic partners. One of my exes told me that the “sexy” faces I make are unattractive. Another ex was obsessed with me & tried to control everything I did down to how I ate. My other ex told me that I was charging too much for my Oracle & Tarot services right before I decided to launch in February 2021.

But I’m happy to say that going forward, I only want to date someone who loves me exactly as I am. I don’t want to be with someone who wants to control me. And I only want to date someone who supports my ambition, drive, & entrepreneurial mindset. I know what my time & energy is worth. So whether I want to change my career to become an Interior Designer, go back to school for my MBA, or raise my pricing for my Oracle & Tarot services, because I feel overbooked, my future partner will support me & believe in me just as much as I believe in myself.

The Relationship Ends

Karmic relationships are meant to come to an end once the lesson has been fulfilled. They can start out as passionate & all-consuming, then quickly burn out as quickly as they started. So considering that I’m still single & none of my past relationships have lasted, I can only assume that they were all karmic.

For a long time, I was a firm believer in not giving second chances. As someone who believes in true, unconditional love, my heart has been dragged through the mud, stabbed, & stolen without my love being returned more times that I’d like to admit. Now I’ve learned that while I’m still allowed to love unconditionally, getting a second chance to win my heart is a privilege. I should never continue to give love to a person or a situation if it compromises my integrity.

Have you ever been in a Karmic Relationship? How did it end? And what did you learn from it? Let me know in a comment below.

XO Denise

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