star glitters with magic text

Do You Believe in Magic?

I spent the majority of my childhood wanting to have magical powers. Despite my ex-boyfriends who insist that magic & alternate universes only exist in movies, I do believe in magic. I dream often about being a witch, flying, & conjuring anything I want. For a long time, I would tell others that if magic does exist, & I never get a letter of acceptance into Hogwarts, I’m going to be pissed. Last year, I even wrote in my bullet journal: “Can I please have magic?”, under the heading Questions for the Universe. This past January, during the week of my birthday, my magic finally found me.

The Beginning of 2021

Every year, in December, I do a Life Audit. Last year, COVID-19 stay-at-home orders took a huge toll on my mental health. I set new goals for 2021 to positively transmute my emotions. I use my creativity to stay productive & work toward my longer-term life goals. After an angry couple of months, I had a lot of pent-up energy to transmute & write about. Beginning on my birthday, I woke up every day for eight days straight, ready to write a new blog post. Ironically, when I stop trying to be strong & let my guard down, the magic inside me emerges & shines.

During that week & in the weeks that followed, I thought I was going crazy. Every single day, I cried on & off. I had so many headaches & sporadic pains in my chest & stomach. The old me was officially dead because one of my spiritual gifts is being an empath. I spent the majority of my life blocking out my emotions. I believed that it made me “better” or “stronger” than others since my emotional state never affected me. But in reality, closing my energy & separating myself from my emotions made me weaker & prevented my gifts from blossoming.

Once I finally let myself feel my emotions, I knew that I could never go back. I also began to hear voices, telling me to clean to feel better. I grew up being messy, & I usually only straighten up my spaces when having guests over. But I suddenly found immense comfort in spiritual cleansing & cleaning my spaces regularly.

Psychic or Psychosis

It’s completely ok if you think I’m crazy or lying. All brilliant & creative people from history were a little crazy in my opinion, but I know my truth. My dark night of the soul in January completely shows my signs of psychosis. Luckily for me, I have a loving & supportive family. I chose to confide in my family members, & they understood that I was going through something. But instead of sending me to a mental hospital, judging me, or insisting that I “get help” so they didn’t have to deal with me, they let me work through my emotions. They supported me in my dark state & allowed me to self-heal at my own pace.

Almost everything after the week of my birthday began to trigger me. At times, I still can’t watch TV or listen to music with lyrics, so I find comfort in sitting at my windowsill with my AirPods, listening to Lofi music instead. Being bombarded by emotions that I know aren’t my own is heart-wrenching. Despite starting xodenisejoyce, I sometimes feel compelled to uninstall all of the social media apps from my iPhone.

For a while, I found peace by working out every day. But now, most days, at the gym, I immediately turn off the TV, because commercials, the news, & even screensavers feel triggering. I also mute the music & my spin instructor during Peloton rides. In January, I spent the majority of my booked gym time working out while crying & reflecting on past trauma. But with every tear shed & trauma from my past re-examined, I heal my heart, end toxic cycles, & become happier.

Sadness Leads to Joy

Like the Pixar movie, Inside Out, you need to be sad in order to be happy again. The old me that chooses to block out emotions & prevent myself from feeling any negative emotional baggage that still needs to be healed is finally dead & gone. My gift of magic found me because I was finally the best version of myself, & ready to take it on.

I began teaching myself how to read Tarot in November, but it wasn’t until January that reading energy became exponentially more clear. My heart was still closed in those early months. It also wasn’t until December that my Dad finally told me that my grandmother & he both also read cards. My magical gift is generational, & I know that it finally found me when the timing was right.

Do you believe in magic? Does magic run in your family? Let me know in a comment below.

XO Denise

Mindfulness for Empaths

Growing up, I always considered myself to be a Jedi with my emotions. The Jedi code value “There is no emotion; there is peace.” has always resonated with me. It wasn’t until my recent birthday that my emotions became increasingly harder & harder to control. If you’re an empath, I cannot stress enough how important it is to protect your energy & stay grounded.

After my Annual birthday bubble bath, but before beginning my post-bath self-care routine, I put my Apple music library on shuffle & started to cry continuously with each & every new song. I honestly cried for a good 25 minutes while I struggled to spray leave-in conditioner in my curls & apply lotion to my body. lol After that experience, I became hyper-aware of practicing mindfulness in order to keep my thoughts focused & my emotions under control.

Now that I’ve accepted that I’m an intuitive empath & with the emotions of my collective overwhelming me each day, these are the main habits that I’ve learned & adapted to help me stay grounded:


I now meditate twice a day, once as soon as I wake up & again right before bed. Sometimes, I’ll squeeze in a quick 5-minute midday meditation too. And if I wake up in the middle of the night & can’t fall back asleep, I’ll meditate to lull myself back to sleep. Meditation truly helps me clear my mind, keeps me grounded, & releases any emotions that I just can’t shake.


When darkness & hate are sent my way, I close my eyes & repeatedly recite the follow mantra until I calm down: “I reject any false & emotionally draining narratives & release them back into the universe with love.” As an empath, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by emotions & energy that are not yours. It’s important to protect your energy & set mental boundaries as needed. Feel free to create your own mantra based on what you’re feeling in the moment.


Since that emotional evening on my birthday, I began to become triggered by music with lyrics. When I need to focus during work hours or during an actual workout, these are the types of music that I turn to, to keep my thoughts in a calm state. If I’m riding in a car with others or attending a social event, I also make sure to pack my AirPods, so I can listen to my own music & separate my thoughts from my environment as needed.


This past month, clutter & even the tiniest of messes began to frustrate & irritate me. I’ve always been one to keep my space generally tidy, but when I’m feeling out of sorts, there’s nothing I love more than doing my laundry & deep cleaning everything in my path. It literally feels euphoric & dare I say… orgasmic! I am continuously removing anything in my life that is no longer serving me, whether it’s a person, place, or thing. I’m cleaning out my closet, both literally & figuratively. My phone, my laptops, my iPad, my iCloud… if I don’t need it, I delete it.


I won’t lie. I am very bougie at times. I would much rather stay in a hotel with plumbing than a tent, but I absolutely love the way I feel in nature. Whether it’s the forest or the beach… it all makes me feel so alive, peaceful, & part of something greater.


I’ve accepted that I’m only ever going to be able to be me in this lifetime. I proactively choose to listen to my body & take care of myself physically & mentally. It’s important to learn that you cannot rely on others to tell you when you’re unhappy & not taking care of yourself. Do what you need to do for your well-being out of self-love every single day!

If you’re a newly awakened empath like me, I feel your pain. It’s really hard to stay grounded sometimes. You may feel paranoid, worried, or sad at the most inopportune moments. I now carry tissues with me at all times, just in case I feel the urge to cry. Find what works best for you though. No two individuals are the exact same, so what may work for me might not work for you. Trust your instincts – you got this!

Are you an empath or just a highly sensitive person? What do you do to stay grounded & mindful every day? Let me know in a comment.

XO Denise