Open Letter to the Other Woman

Love triangles are overly prominent on TV shows & movies. Honestly, no one wins when a relationship begins or ends with a love triangle. The lasting relationships form when two healed & self-sufficient individuals come together as equals, ready to ensure they can & will go the distance. This is an open letter to the other woman.

Choosing or accepting being in a love triangle is not better than being alone. Finding my inner strength to walk away ultimately brought me peace & happiness every single time. I apologized to my past loves a few weeks ago, just in time for Valentine’s Day. In my journey of shadow work & healing, remorsefully apologizing to the other women is the best next step.

Number 1: I’m sorry for hindering the growth of your connection.

If it’s any consolation, the last time we were supposed to see each other, he stood me up. I stood there alone outside of his apartment complex confused & disappointed about what had happened. I even tried calling him while I was outside, because I knew how much he still loved me. He called me a couple of weeks after I moved too. I was temporarily back at home that weekend, but I didn’t want to face him since I already had a new boyfriend. He was still trying to pretend that he wasn’t deeply hurting.

I know that he ran to you to make me jealous, but I don’t know if you even knew about me. I’m sorry that I affected your connection. I never intended to hurt him. It was a Summer fling because I never planned to keep a boyfriend back home. I was his first love. If his heartbreak was even a fraction of my worst heartbreak, I’m glad that he had you to give him hope again.

He wrote me a letter a few months after you two broke up. I never responded, because I didn’t want to give him false hope. If you did know about me, thank you for carefully handling his broken heart. I just hope that you were able to find true love with someone better for you in the end.

Number 2: I’m sorry for not letting him go gracefully, lurking your Facebook, & talking behind your back.

You gave him what I didn’t want to give him in the two years that we were together. I didn’t want to give him my body in that way. But I felt like a prude for wanting to stay a virgin until I was ready. As a blond lifeguard, you represented everything I’ve been insecure about my entire life.

In the end, I liked that you defended him when I messaged you on MySpace. I tried to befriend you & joke about his flaws. But you quickly called me out on my BS, which I respected. I don’t know if you actually loved him or if you did only choose him because he was your quickest option to get a Green Card. Regardless, I didn’t know you well enough to judge you, & it was completely unfair of me to meddle in your connection.

In the wake of our breakup, he told his roommate about what he did. It was comforting after the mess he made. But in all honestly, with all of the secrets & lies, we both lost in the end. You got married & divorced. Since it wasn’t meant to last, I hope you found a new lasting love in the end with someone else.

Number 3: I’m sorry for not respecting you just because you were a stranger.

I didn’t even know that you existed until after we danced together at a party. I went home & checked out his Facebook. While I should have walked away from him right then & there, I’m sorry for choosing to be the other woman. If I could go back in time, I would have kept my distance & stopped myself from pursuing anything further. I’m sorry for the hurt I caused because I didn’t know if you were still together, broken up, or on a break. I truly don’t blame you for creating a fake Facebook account to lurk me. If I were in your shoes, I would have been deeply hurt & upset too.

You were beautiful. If you two were high school sweethearts, I completely understand why he chose you. We were never in a real relationship. He could barely hold a conversation with me, which made our breakup a lot easier. I also didn’t realize how “comfortable” his lifestyle was until after we broke up, just in case you were worried I was a gold digger. I hope you found true love with someone who respected & valued you.

Number 4: I’m sorry for sneaking behind your back, while you were such a good friend.

I only befriended you at first to keep you close. You had a boyfriend back home, but you were still really good friends with him. If the moment presented itself, you would have loved to breakup with your hometown boyfriend to be with him instead.

When I finally let go, I felt so bad about the on & off again drama he put you through. We were actually still really good friends for a while afterward. You were a genuine & good-hearted person. You even invited me into your home, cooked for me, & let me vent to you about my own relationship issues. I hope you found someone to give you all of their love. Because we both knew he was still too heartbroken from his first love to come around to either of us.

Number 5: I’m sorry that my jealousy & insecurity caused me to blame you for the issues in our relationship.

You were so genuinely beautiful inside & out. I understood why he fell in love with you & why it was so hard for him to get over you after your breakup. There was a time that we finally became cordial with one another. I’ve already admitted to you that I honestly never disliked you. I was so jealous of your close friendship & insecure that I may never live up to the bar you set. It was kind of you to offer to drive me from the Bay Area to go visit him while he was still in school after I graduated. I was just too stubborn at the time to accept or appreciate it. In the end, he just didn’t want forever with me, & I needed to accept that & let go of him gracefully.

We haven’t caught up in years, & I unfollowed you on Social Media during my recent purge. Nothing personal, just for my own peace of mind. You got a new job in LA. I hope you found true love with someone better for you, have a very successful career, & create an amazing life for yourself.

Number 6: I’m so sorry for the mean Facebook message I sent you after he broke my heart. You didn’t deserve that. 

We never got to form a deep friendship, but since you were on the same dance crew as him, we had so many mutual friends. I considered you to be like family to me. I had my suspicions that he liked you, & our mutual friends even confirmed it after we broke up. Regardless, it still felt like a knife to my heart when I realized that he was already pursuing you days after our breakup. I appreciate & respect that you kept your relationship private & never made a huge public display out of it.

Even after you two broke up, you always showed me genuine kindness, which I still admire to this day. You are such an amazing human & an incredibly talented dancer. I hope you found your own true love & happiness with someone better. I learned so much from you.

Number 7: I’m sorry for judging you when I honestly didn’t even want him anymore.

I never met you. It was unfair of me to show your pictures to my friends so that we could judge you based on nothing. I discovered you on Instagram after we had been broken up for a few years. He wanted to give me the world, so I wanted to see who picked up the shattered pieces of his heart. He hoped to marry me & start a family because his own family was so broken.

Thank you for loving him in all the ways I could never grow to be able to. You gave him hope again & the family that he always dreamed about.

Number 8: I’m sorry for my jealousy. We are so similar & our resemblance to one another is uncanny.

There was a time where I considered you to be my evil twin. We looked so similar that it was weird not to think about it in that way. After your car accident, I don’t know if you even knew that he took you to the car dealership that my brother worked at. And when my brother saw you, he literally thought the same thing. You could have been our sister.

Did you know that I helped & supported him while he was unemployed? I was so ecstatic for him when he finally landed a new job. Somehow during his month of onboarding, you two started dating, & I was heartbroken & left out in the cold.

You seemed so smart & ambitious. I honestly thought you could do so much better. When he changed his Facebook relationship status with no warning or consideration of my feelings, I was naturally livid. He spent time with my family, & we all watched a movie together just a couple of weeks prior to when he became official with you.

The bottom line is that someone who loved & respected me wouldn’t have done what he did. I know that you guys broke up, & you’re already dating someone new. The breakup seemed to be pretty amicable, so thank you for teaching me about being more gracious when walking away from someone, who clearly doesn’t love me anymore.

Number 9: I’m sorry I let him juggle us both.

We knew each other from college. It was a very short & brief encounter, but enough that we were friends on Facebook. He had brunch with you in Sacramento the week before he broke both of our hearts. From what I could tell, you two weren’t exclusive either, & you were still on & off again with your ex-boyfriend.

I’m still surprised that you unfriended & blocked me on Facebook. But I guess that means that you knew about us too. He picked Number 8 in the end. I hope you find love & happiness with someone better because neither one of us deserved poor treatment from him.

Number 10: I’m sorry for not walking away when I knew he wasn’t over you.

You were right. He did still hold a torch in his heart for you. Those public Venmo payments were a warning sign for me to back off, but I ignored my instincts & let him come & go as he pleased.

You must have been to see him go back to me again & again. If it’s any consolation, we were never exclusive. I still can’t believe you created that fake online dating profile to impersonate me & put me under a negative spotlight. You stole my actual pictures & mentioned somewhat accurate details from my life, which could have done long-term damage to my career. And just FYI – I’m not Mexican, I’m Filipino.

When you changed your Facebook profile picture to Harley Quinn, I needed to approach you with compassion & kindness. That’s why I wrote that blog post to you all those years ago. I enjoy the MTV show Catfish, but I never expect those situations in real life. From what I can tell, you found your happiness with someone else, which I’m so happy about. You deserve to be genuinely loved.

Number 11: I’m sorry for judging you. I never met you, didn’t know you personally, & didn’t know any of the messy details of your life.

While you seemed to have tried your best to keep things a secret, my intuition about you & him was right. I still don’t understand how you could cheat on your fiancé then proceed to still marry him & have his baby. You were older, had a successful career, & so much going for you.

Were you scared of this next chapter? Why did you also choose someone so much younger than you to cheat with? Maybe to rationalize that it could never turn into something more so you could live with your conscience?

Whatever your reasons, thank you for teaching me that no matter how perfect someone’s life may look on the outside, we all have our own issues, secrets, & lessons to learn. If you came clean to your husband, I hope your marriage lasts & you create a loving home environment for your child.

Number 12: I’m sorry for letting my jealousy get the better of me when he chose you over me.

We were never actually exclusive. I was just fooling myself. You were so successful & well off. You could have chosen anyone, & from what I heard, your close friend was in love with you too. It just took you getting into a relationship with someone else to wake them up. I couldn’t understand how or why you chose him when you had an entire ocean between you, but I know now that it was never my decision to make.

I’m sorry for creating that fake Instagram account to message you & let him think that Number 10 sent it. I’m glad that you were able to forgive him. It hurt a lot to see you visiting him. But luckily, I finally already let go when he moved from the Bay Area to live with you. He confessed that you were very Conservative & fought a lot after moving in together, which is why you ended up breaking up in the end. I’m so sorry for meddling in your connection, just because I wished he chose me instead. I hope you found someone better for you in the end.

Number 13: I’m sorry for holding you responsible for breaking the love of my life’s heart & blaming you for him not being ready to give his heart to me.

We never met, & I probably will never meet you. I was excited when I met him at the Labor Day camping trip. It was shocking to see you tagged together on Instagram. I did the math & realized how much younger he was than me. He’s so young to have already been married once. I was very skeptical of his intentions, so I didn’t want to date him at first. In the end, I spent our entire relationship trying not to fall in love with him, sabotaging our connection with my own insecurities.

But no matter how much distance & space I tried to keep between us, I just couldn’t stay away from him. He told me about you on our 1st date, which I totally respected. He only mentioned you one other time during a road trip, which I took as a very good sign. But I always knew that he was still healing from your divorce. After 6 years together, how could he not be?

You actually remind me of myself when I was younger. I see why he fell hard for you & why he expects & hopes to be with you forever. You seem to have made a very happy & loving family dynamic for yourself. Thank you for giving me hope that even after my worst possible breakup, it’s still possible to find love again.

Number 14: I’m sorry for not choosing to walk away when you were visiting for New Years.

We broke up in early December & got back together only a few days after. I don’t know if your New Years’ plans were decided while we were dating but not exclusive. All I focused on was that he was upfront & honest with me about you. I trusted him since I was going to be in Las Vegas for Lady Gaga’s Enigma residency while you were in town.

When you were suddenly no longer friends, you didn’t know about me. I also know that he tried to reconnect with you while I was on vacation in Hawaii. I’ve already personally apologized to you once, but I’ll gladly do it again. I’m sorry for the hurt & pain I cause. You didn’t deserve that. I need to be better about setting my boundaries & walking away. Thank you again for your grace & kindness. I wish only the best for you & your daughter.

Number 15: I’m sorry for drunk messaging you on Instagram while I was crying & heartbroken.

I am sorry for drunk messaging you, especially during such a monumental moment in history that we all as a nation were celebrating. I’m sorry for letting my emotions get the best of me. It was not my place to message you, & if I could go back in time to stop myself, I would. I should have continued to address the situation with him directly & leave you out of it.

Did you know that he asked my permission the night before the boat event? I knew you were there since you put him in your IG story. I gave him my permission because I trusted him. It sounded like fun & an exciting opportunity. I wanted him to enjoy it, even if there wasn’t enough space on the boat for me to join him. He promised to be home by the afternoon for our date night that he planned for us earlier that week. He asked me to block off Sunday for quality time with him, but he stood me up instead. Imagine me home alone, hair & makeup done, wearing a cute, new outfit, clutching my brand new frolf disc set, & crying because he didn’t come back.

That’s why I lurked your IG stories. I wanted you to see that I existed, & I knew about you. While I was concerned, we reconciled. We went on two amazing trips together in the weeks & months after the boat incident, so my fears quickly subsided.

I didn’t consider you a threat to our relationship until you posted those IG stories on his balcony & on his couch. The last straw was the public Venmo he sent you for gas. My heart & world shattered that day.

Instead of our typical cozy date night, you are the new me. You watch the sky change colors as the sun sets over my apartment building, only a block away. He encouraged & helped me to move in only four months earlier. But you are the one now laughing & smiling next to him on the couch that I sat on nearly every weekend for 13 months.

My emotions were uncontrollable that night. My tears were fueled by memories in that apartment. Cooking, making sandwiches, playing MarioKart & Animal Crossing, & him laying his head on my chest as we watched the projector with my fingers in his curls.

In all the times that I’ve messaged someone, woman to woman, to inform them of the situation, you were the only one to dismiss me, insult me, & be unnecessarily cruel & malicious. Thank you for the hard slap in my face to never make the same mistake again.

Did you know that he was still texting me? The night before his birthday, he told me that his friend was coming to town. I truly thought he was taking alone time & space to focus on school, because he was graduating. If he wanted to have fun with his friend, eating Raising Cane’s chicken for his birthday weekend, it was fine by me. Besides, I was already cutting back on fast food, & I didn’t want to disrupt my new Peloton workout schedule. If I had known the week prior that he wanted to break up with me, I wouldn’t have given him a birthday present. I would have walked away gracefully with my head still held high, no turning back, & no remorse.

It was shocking when you messaged me in December. After blocking you, I only unblocked you to apologize. But since you blocked me back, it was too late to say sorry & take back my actions. Why unblock me to message me, warn me to stay away, & tell me to move on, then immediately block me again?

I look at Instagram content for inspiration, & I use the explore tab to deep dive from account to account. I do not doubt that I watched a friend of yours’ IG stories, but how would I know that you were mutual friends, since you blocked me? How would viewing their IG story for inspiration affect your relationship in any way? I do not have the time or energy to look up people who have blocked me, put my nose in business where I’m clearly not wanted, see who follows who, & consider whether or not I should be viewing a stranger’s IG story.

Even though a full month had already passed, I’ll admit that your DM triggered me. I’m still healing my heart. You forced the pain of him leaving me to date you to come rushing back. It added salt to my wounds, realizing that he obviously let you read the heartfelt emails I sent him because you quoted my words verbatim. Was that your intention?

Even though I jumped into a new relationship with a liar who wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, I forgive you both for hurting me. As much as I still love him & don’t want to walk away, I love myself too much to feed into the immature drama. I refuse to allow anyone to treat me as if I’m easily disposable. I let go to allow your relationship to grow without my interference. After you messaged me, I blocked you & slowly blocked anyone else that I knew from his social circles who may try to hurt me for my own peace of mind.

I want you to be happy. In my email, I promised to never bother either of you again, & I’ve kept that promise for several months now. I loved him too much to settle with a place in his life as just a friend. Please promise to take care of his heart. Support him in all of his endeavors, & never let him doubt himself. He’s an amazing man, & I know in my heart that he’s going to do great things in his lifetime.

Since you read my emails, you know that I left the ball in his court. After drunk messaging you, he only reached out to tell me that he was blocking me. Thank you again for showing me who I don’t want to be. You forced me to look at myself in the mirror & gave me the strength & courage to finally change my life & who I am for the better.

Number 16: I’m sorry for using him as a band-aid to heal my broken heart.

I didn’t even know you existed until he changed his profile picture to the two of you. After reconnecting on Instagram, I told him about my breakup & that I was still healing from my ex. But a few weeks later, he insisted on visiting me for his birthday. In retrospect, I should have stopped him.

Don’t worry – his kissing is terrible. I’m not in contact with him all anymore. I ended up crying alone in my bathroom that weekend. Because I still love & miss my ex. He knows where my head & heart are at. I put an end to it, & blocked him on everything after that weekend. I’m happy that you two look really happy together.

Three is NOT company! If you rationalize your lies, manipulation, sneaking around, & cheating emotionally or otherwise, it’s time to walk away. You’re honestly doing yourself a disservice when you put yourself into a love triangle. If you have strong, healthy boundaries, you won’t let someone else put you into a third-party situation, nor should you put yourself into one. Don’t let someone you know get hurt by staying in an unhealthy third-party situation either. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve, just because you’d rather be a third wheel than alone.

XO Denise

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Breaking Free from Trauma Bonds

While it’s becoming the norm in society to hide our inner demons, everyone has trauma at varying degrees. It’s in your refusal to heal the trauma that forces you to repeat your toxic cycles. You must be willing to learn from your past, do your inner shadow work, & heal from your suffering. It took me a long time to heal from my trauma of my mom & sister “abandoning” me & giving their attention & love to my brother. I have history of attracting emotionally unavailable men & being a bully to their new love interests to ruin the connection & take back the love that was once mine. A trauma bond is created through intense emotional ups & downs. It causes overexposure of hormones in a victim’s brain similar to addiction, bonding them to their abuser. Today, let’s reflect on my past trauma bonds & share some advice to help set you free.

Trauma Bonds

Trauma bonds can be with anyone in your life. It could be through emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, or even threats of abandonment. It involves feeling emotionally attached & unable to walk away from individuals who can hinder your livelihood. This includes your ability to find a place to live or support yourself, & preventing you from seeing children, family, or pets. In the past, I let men abandon me. They come back into my life promising to stay, not cheat on me, & give me the love & attention that I deserve. It’s through repeated cycles of abuse & devaluation then love bombing with positive reinforcement that creates this type of emotional attachment.

Over time, victims grow to associate love with abuse. In the past, I looked for validation to prove that I was worthy & deserving of love. In my mind, if I can make an emotionally unavailable man commit & fall in love with me then I can finally be happy. The trauma from abuse creates powerful feelings that you may struggle to make sense of throughout your lifetime. Because the cycle of abuse follows a period of compassion, kindness, intimacy, & adoration. While it’s natural to develop a bond with someone who treats you with care & kindness, be aware that abusive relationships can begin with an endless shower of affection. Once you’re already in a commitment & devote yourself to this person, they show their true colors. The key indicator of a trauma bond is that no matter how long you are together & try to work through your issues, abuse still exists within your relationship. Even if your loved one no longer hits you or cheats, they alter their abusive tactics over time. Abusers are often clever. They switch to more effective & less obvious forms of abuse, such as manipulation, guilt-tripping, or putting you down.

My Trauma Bonds

My exes ghost me for days, weeks, or months. They vaguely break up with me so that they can sleep with whomever they want without feeling guilty. Because no matter how terribly they treat me, I’d still be there. I’d wait for them with my arms wide open & my heart on a silver platter. Deep down, you know if you’re suffering from mental abuse & manipulation. Are you getting empty apologies without a change of behavior? Don’t fall for the cycle of abuse & intimacy, then fool yourself into thinking that this is what love feels like. Instead of recognizing the red flags, victims expect unhealthy relationship behaviors. Imagine thinking “my partner never cheats, hits me, verbally puts me down, or threatens to break up with me, so they don’t love me.”

Unconditional love involves loving & accepting a person for being exactly who they are & the choices that they make. But that does not involve tolerating abuse, disrespect, or neglect. Someone who truly loves you does not allow anyone to hurt you. And they especially wouldn’t proactively choose to hurt you themselves. Learn to recognize when someone you love is abusive. Then, decide to walk away for good for your own mental health & safety.

The Cycle of Trauma

It’s in the endless cycles of apologies, gifts, & loving promises that confuse victims in hopes that their partner makes a permanent change of behavior until it starts all over again. Hormones play a huge role in trauma bonding too. Gifts, apologies, & physical intimacy produce adrenaline, cortisol, dopamine, & oxytocin. These feel-good hormones create a false sense of excitement, love, passion, & pleasure. This causes you to want to keep making your abuser happy so that you continue to get that rush of dopamine, oxytocin, etc. because you’ve become so accustomed & addicted to it. 

It’s as if this individual controls you to the point where you don’t know how to resist or break free anymore. And if you do manage to leave, you may feel incomplete or lost without them. Victims often choose to go back, because this abusive cycle is the only type of love they’ve ever known. It feels comfortable & familiar, so despite their better judgment, they don’t know how to live without it.

Other signs of trauma bonds include:

  • Being unhappy & not liking your partner anymore, but still staying, because you’re unable to end things.
  • When you try to leave or consider leaving, you feel physically & emotionally sick.
  • When expressing that you want to leave, your abuser cries & promises to change without actually changing.
  • You only remember the “good” days, & use them as proof that they do truly care about you, blocking out the rest.
  • Excuses are made to defend their abusive behaviors when others express concern for your well-being.
  • You continue to trust them & hope to change them with no progress.
  • You willingly protect them by keeping their abusive behavior toward you or others a secret.

If you or someone you know is a victim of trauma bonding, here’s how to help & break free:

Keep a journal

If you need evidence of the cycle of abuse, write down things that happen each day to help you identify patterns & notice abusive behavior that may have not seemed abusive at the moment.

When you’ve confirmed that abuse did occur, note what happened & whether your partner said anything afterward to excuse their behavior.

Consider the relationship from a different perspective

If someone else you know & love were in your shoes, what advice would you give them? Would you tell them to leave that relationship? If so, you have trauma bonds with your partner.

Talk to loved ones that you trust

While it’s not easy to open up about abuse & you may have gotten angry or brushed off friends & family when they expressed concern in the past, your loved ones can offer a unique perspective. Listen & make an effort to consider the accuracy of an outside perspective.

Avoid self-blame

Regardless of the past, the abuse was NEVER your fault. Despite what you may or may not have done, how deeply you fear loneliness or a life without them, or how many times you’ve gone back to them, you do deserve better.

Cut off contact completely
  • Once you decide to leave, stop repeating the toxic cycle of abuse by stopping all communication.
  • If you co-parent or have shared pets, establish a plan to maintain only necessary contact.
  • Create physical distance by finding a new safe place to stay, if you live together.
  • Block them on social media, & consider changing your phone number, email address, etc., if necessary.

Key Takeaways

If they continue to insist that they’ll change, by going to therapy or doing anything you need, as long as you just come back, remind yourself of how many times they’ve already promised to change without actually changing. When you’ve repeated a toxic cycle three or more times, don’t fool yourself into thinking, the “umpteenth” time is the charm.

If you have no resources, call a Domestic Violence Hotline, especially if your relationship is violent. If you’re not in the United States, feel free to google a local hotline that you can reach out to for help.

I personally hate the saying “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.” The truth of the matter is that if someone can’t handle you at your worst, it’s because they have strong, healthy boundaries. The bottom line is you need to love yourself more than anyone else because trauma bonds through abuse & manipulation are not unconditional love. Don’t let someone discard you as if you & your feelings don’t matter – stand up & protect yourself, even when it feels impossible & you relapse. I will never repeat my toxic cycles with emotionally unavailable men again. An emotionally unavailable man is actually just a boy who refuses to take accountability for his actions, grow up, & keep his promises to someone that he cares about. I need & want a man who will give me the unconditional love that I deserve, without all the drama. Learn from your past makes, recognize your trauma bonds, & move on for your own mental health & safety.

XO Denise

SOURCES

HEALTHLINE

Dr. Carmen Bryant

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Quality over Quantity

On February 16th, about a month & a half into the New Year, I officially diagnosed myself with writer’s block. lol I knew that I was bound to run out of steam eventually, & a month & a half into the new year is not bad at all! Luckily, I schedule my blog posts several weeks in advance, so I do have some time to get my mojo back. With today’s blog scheduled, I’m currently pre-scheduled through mid-March. I’m spending the 1st week of March in Lake Tahoe to celebrate with my family for my mom’s birthday on March 4th. I won’t have as much time to write this week, because I intend to fully unplug during my quality family time. With that said, I’ve decided to shift from my usual three blog posts per week, down to two blog posts per week, posting every Monday & Friday.

When I was a little girl, I loved going to Dollar stores. I would eagerly go through every aisle picking out the most random knick-knacks because I knew my mom couldn’t use the excuse that what I wanted was “too expensive”. My sister on the other hand would never want anything. When our uncle would take us shopping, it would be the same way. I would pick out a few things that I wanted, & my sister wouldn’t want anything. Little did I know, that at the end of the day, my mom and my uncle would always give my sister cash instead, out of fairness. Cash that she, in turn, saved to purchase something that she did want that was a much higher value & lasted much longer in her life than my random knick-knacks existed in mine. lol

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned the value of working hard for your money. Then ensuring that you spend or invest that money wisely. And that’s where quality over quantity comes in. I’m not the same little girl who would buy $100 worth of random knick-knacks from the dollar store anymore. lol By decreasing the number of blog posts that I post each week, I hope to lighten my evening workload & give myself more time to continue delivering quality content week after week.

While I’ve always been a good writer, the effort, planning, & time that I put into each blog post I write is extremely important to me. In high school, I could write an essay in 30 minutes like it was nothing. But as a perfectionist, I would NEVER post a blog that wasn’t up to my standards, just like everything else in my life. I keep a very small, close circle of friends, & I’m very deliberate about who I allow to get close to me.

To have an abundant life, you need to have an abundant mindset & surround yourself with an abundant environment. If you invest in your life with quality people, mindful shopping, meaningful experiences, & true unconditional love, I promise you that you will eventually have the happy, abundant lifestyle that you seek.

XO Denise